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| how a man should date |
| 01.02.05 (8:58 pm) [edit] |
ok, like I promised, here's the aground breaking theory I've made.
And, unlike my letter responses that I write on occassion, this one's serious. So, listen well.
GUIDE FOR MEN TO AVOID GETTING LOCKED IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP
Let me state who this is for. This is for those single men who are honest, well meaning men. This is for those who want to have a good lasting relationship, but don't seem to have any luck. This is also for those men who are in a relationship with a girl that gets on their nerves, but they don't want to leave for whatever reason. This does not apply to jerks.
Secondly, this is not intended for those who don't have a history of bad relationships. If you don't have a history you either don't have a problem with it and don't need dating guides, or you haven't dated.
This guide is also open excuses and what-not, but the central theory is pretty much impervious.
Anyhoo, let's open with the bottom line of the theory:
Men can never control a relationship.
Now, let me clarify. By control, I mean hormonal/emotional control and influence (I'll explain what I mean by that later). This is related to scenarios like the following:
"She's a great girl, but she has a couple of habits that gets on my nerves. I also don't want to get locked down into a lasting relationship. I've set some rules with her to make sure we don't get back together. So it'll be alright to date her on occassion."
The scenario is that of:
1) Woman has certain traits that are undesirable
2) Man wishes to be single
3) Man thinks he can control the situation and retain his free will, private space, girl friendless status, or whatever else the case may be.
(again, I reiterate: this is intended for love-sick fools, not cheating intimidating jerk scumbags)
The truth of the matter is that when it comes to hormones/emotions, most men in the American culture cannot win in competition with a woman. And most men means 99.99999% of men (you're not the exception). This is not a put-down on men. Men and women are different (whether it's genetics or society to blame is a moot point).
I'm not even going to touch as to why the woman wins every time, no time for that and I haven't had enough observations to study that one. Regardless, when it's level grounds without intimidation men will loose to a woman when hormones are involved.
I'll explain what I mean by hormones/emotions. Normally, they're seperate things. But, when dating's involved, they combine very intricately, so it's very time consuming and difficult to determine how much of one's decisions is made by themselves or by their hormones.
Now, I can't tell you why a woman wins, but I can tell you why a man looses. Most men seem to be put into a much more weaker position when the two mix (a larger exception are those who turn violent, which this guide is not intended for).
So, for the man who wants to remain in control of themselves, I offer the complete theory.
"A man can never be in emotional/hormonal control of a relationship. However, a man can easily avoid being under hormonal/emotional control if he knows how."
Basically, know how you should keep your hormones in check and you won't end up with a bad girl friend.
So, here's some warning signs and suggestions:
1) BEWARE OF GIFTS! You're casually dating a girl, and a very nice gift is given to you. This is a bad thing. While money shouldn't be the basis of a relationship, it certainly can serve as a good indicator. No one spends a good deal of money on someone they don't want to impress. How this turns into a control on her part is when you decide to break it off. You'll see the gift and guilt will be created. You won't want to hurt her feelings because she spent money/time/whatever in order to get that gift to you. Hence, you are under her control.
2) Make sure you worry about your sanity before hurting her family's feelings. If you like the girl's parents, but not the girl, do stuff with the rest of the family. Easy enough, isn't it?
3) Relationship in my book is defined as: 2 people doing stuff together somewhat frequently. No excuses, no convenient titles to hide behind.
4) this is crass, but the advice has served me well. "Never let your pecker get harder than your head."
5) The simplist way to keep yourself in check is that of analytical thinking. Analytical thinking is emotionally detached. Therefore, the hormonal/emotional vice is absent. Think about things like: does she get on my nerves, do I have enough money to be dating her, am I actually having fun or am I just in it to make out.
6) If all else fails and your find yourself whupped over a girl without being able to think analytically, remember this: girls poop. (does not apply to those with a poop fetish, you're on you're own if that's the case). Yup, girls poop and make the bathroom stinky just like the men do. Just imagine: after your date, she kisses you goodnight, goes upstairs, sits on the pot and cringes, beads of sweat roll down her face as the foul methane expells into the room and she pinches a reesty loaf. Don't feel horny anymore about her, do ya? This should get you back into a logical thinking pattern where you'll be able break free of emotional/hormonal control.
So there, hope that was of some service to you. I just wish I knew what topic to put this under ...
oh well, default will have to do.
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posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 04.27.05 (11:00 am)
An educated blunderer. A relationship is simple. Be honest with yourself and the person (or thing) you are having a relationship with no matter how damaging or hurtful your feelings are.
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